Mom Won’t Drive Drunk To Get 4YO Ex Fights Her For 30 Minutes While His GF’s In Labor
In the middle of the night, OP received a call from her ex. His girlfriend had gone into labor, and he urgently needed her to pick up their 4-year-old son. OP had no issue watching the child—except for one thing: she had been drinking. She responsibly told her ex that she couldn’t drive but welcomed him to drop off the child at her place, just five minutes away.
Instead of agreeing, her ex lashed out, accusing her of being irresponsible for drinking so close to his girlfriend’s due date. But here’s the twist—he never told her when the due date was, nor did he communicate any expectations that she might be on standby during his parenting time. After arguing for over 30 minutes, he finally dropped off the child—while yelling in front of their son.
Now OP is wondering: was she wrong for refusing to drive under the influence, even in a parenting emergency? Or is her ex out of line for expecting her to risk it and drop everything without warning?
Mothers always prioritize the safety of their kids over everything else, even if that means fighting with an ex
When the poster’s 4-year-old kid was with her ex, she got a call at 12 AM to pick him up as his girlfriend had gone into labor
This post kicks off a much deeper conversation than just “should she have picked up the kid.” This is really about co-parenting communication, personal safety, and unrealistic expectations in blended families.
Let’s break it down like real people talk, no legal jargon or perfect grammar here—just honest parenting chat.
🍷 1. Let’s Start with the Drinking Thing
If you’ve ever had custody of a young child, you know how hard it is to get a true break. OP wasn’t on duty. It wasn’t her weekend, her night, or her parenting time. She was just relaxing at home and had a few drinks. That’s not irresponsible—it’s normal.
She didn’t say she was blackout drunk or partying until 3 AM. She said she had a few drinks. And more importantly, she recognized that meant she shouldn’t drive. That’s not negligence. That’s mature decision-making.
Drunk driving is no joke. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), over 11,000 people died in alcohol-impaired crashes in the U.S. in 2022 alone. Even buzzed driving is impaired driving. Imagine what would’ve happened if OP had tried to push through that guilt trip and got into an accident—with or without the kid in the car.
So let’s be clear: choosing not to drive after drinking is the opposite of irresponsible. It’s exactly what she should have done.
📅 2. Communication is a Two-Way Street
Her ex’s main beef? “You shouldn’t have been drinking because my girlfriend could go into labor any time.”
Okay. But…
- Did he tell her the due date?
- Did he ask her to be on standby in case of an emergency?
- Did he set up a backup plan for child care during his parenting time?
Nope.
Co-parenting isn’t psychic work. OP can’t read minds. If the ex expected her to stay sober and on alert, he needed to communicate that ahead of time. Just like any job, parenting time comes with responsibilities. If it’s his day, then he should’ve been prepared with a plan B (family member, sitter, or neighbor) in case labor started during his watch.
He can’t expect her to act like the emergency babysitter when she wasn’t informed there was even a possibility this could happen.
🚗 3. “It’s Just 5 Minutes Away” – Yeah, But That Doesn’t Matter
A lot of people might say, “It’s just a 5-minute drive. What’s the big deal?”
Here’s the thing: the law doesn’t care if you’re driving 5 minutes or 5 hours. If you’re over the legal limit, you’re DUI. Period.
Even if she got pulled over and passed a breathalyzer, she’d have her kid in the car. If something went wrong, child endangerment charges could be on the table. And even if nothing bad happened, all it would take is someone calling CPS to say, “Hey, a mom drove drunk to pick up her son.”
That could risk her custody rights long-term. So really, was a 5-minute drive worth that kind of gamble?
Not a chance.
🗣️ 4. The Screaming in Front of the Child? Unacceptable.
Let’s not breeze past this one. The ex showed up at her house, screamed at her in front of their 4-year-old, and made the handoff emotionally traumatic for the kid.
That’s not parenting—that’s bullying. Kids absorb everything. At 4 years old, children understand tone, body language, and emotional distress. Seeing Dad scream at Mom? That sticks. And it puts the child in an uncomfortable emotional tug-of-war between two parents.
This is what co-parenting therapists warn about constantly. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, exposure to high-conflict parental interactions can lead to anxiety, behavioral issues, and even long-term trauma in kids.
Yelling at her because she wouldn’t break the law to make his life easier? That’s just selfish.
🧠 5. The Emotional Weaponizing of Responsibility
Let’s talk guilt. The ex used every classic manipulative line in the book:
- “You’re irresponsible for drinking.”
- “You should’ve known this would happen.”
- “You’re putting my girlfriend in danger.”
All of this ignores one key truth: he was responsible for their son at that time. Period.
Blaming her for not being able to save the day—when she was totally willing to take the child, just not willing to break the law—is emotional manipulation. Full stop.
🧾 6. Let’s Flip the Script: What If the Roles Were Reversed?
Imagine if this was a dad saying he’d had a few beers, didn’t feel safe driving, and his ex screamed at him for refusing to get in the car. People would likely support his decision 100%.
There’s a double standard here when it comes to moms. Moms are expected to sacrifice, be omnipresent, and always be the backup plan—even when it’s not their day. That’s not fair, and it’s not sustainable.
Netizens were shocked by how casually he was willing to put their kid at risk by asking her to drive drunk, and called him a bad father
OP did the right thing. She didn’t say “no” to parenting. She said “no” to driving drunk.
She communicated clearly, stayed available, protected her kid, and maintained boundaries. Her ex had a tantrum instead of taking the path of least resistance and dropping the kid off. The delay? On him. Not her.
