AITA for Skipping Christmas After My Dad’s Fiancée Took My Baby to Meet Santa Without Me?
Christmas should be magical—especially when it’s your baby’s first. But for this mom, that magic got completely hijacked. OP was planning a sweet little holiday moment with her husband and their 8-month-old son: his first trip to see Santa. But before they could do that, her dad’s fiancée swooped in, took the baby to the mall Santa behind their backs, and documented the moment—with herself in every single photo. No heads-up. No permission. Just pure audacity.
To make matters worse, OP’s dad napped through the babysitting while all this happened. The betrayal cut deep—not just because of what was done, but because it was a moment OP and her husband were excited to share as first-time parents. After confronting her dad and his fiancée, and getting absolutely no remorse in return, OP decided to skip their annual Christmas Eve party. Now, other family members are siding with her, the party is falling apart, and OP is stuck wondering if she overreacted—or if she just drew a very needed line.
Meeting Santa for the first time is one of our core memories
But this woman said her dad’s fiancée deliberately took her son to the mall, making sure she would be the one to introduce him to Santa
First-Time Parenting, Boundaries, and When Family Crosses the Line
Let’s be real—this isn’t just about a picture with Santa. It’s about boundaries, respect, and how families sometimes bulldoze over moments that aren’t theirs to take. Especially when there’s a baby involved.
Here’s a breakdown of why OP’s reaction is not only understandable but a boundary-setting masterclass—and what anyone dealing with pushy family members can learn from it.
1. The Santa Visit Isn’t “Just a Picture”—It’s a Milestone
Okay, so let’s get something straight. For new parents, that first Santa visit? That’s a core memory. Even if you’re not super into Christmas, it’s one of those tiny little parenting wins. You dress your baby up, stand in line with a million other frazzled parents, and get that one blurry photo to treasure forever.
So when someone—especially a not-so-trusted future stepmother—takes that away without asking, it stings. This wasn’t a casual stroll. This was a memory meant for OP and her husband.
2. You Don’t Take a Baby Somewhere Without Telling the Parents
This part is huge. Whether you’re the grandma, aunt, godparent, or just babysitting—you do not leave the house with a baby without clearing it first. Full stop.
It’s not even about being overprotective. It’s basic respect and safety. What if something happened on the way? What if OP came home early and her baby was gone? The fact that her dad’s fiancée casually just left with the baby to go do something they were explicitly planning to do themselves is next-level boundary crossing.
3. This Isn’t Her First Offense
Now this isn’t just an isolated incident. OP mentioned this woman tried to announce her pregnancy before she did. She hijacked a birthday party to announce her wedding date. And now she’s stealing baby firsts? That’s a pattern. A big, red-flag-waving one.
People like this often aren’t just clueless—they thrive on attention and control. It’s not about bonding with the baby; it’s about being seen bonding with the baby. That’s why she made sure to be in every Santa photo.
4. “It Wasn’t a Big Deal”—Yes, It Was
When OP confronted her, the fiancée played dumb. Claimed she didn’t realize it was a “big deal.” Classic gaslighting move. If someone tells you their feelings were hurt and you say “you’re being dramatic,” that’s not resolving conflict—that’s brushing it under the rug.
And the dad? He backed her up instead of defending his daughter. That’s where a lot of people would hit their limit, especially when they’ve already been gracious enough to let this woman around their child in the first place.
5. Choosing Not to Attend the Party Was a Power Move
Skipping the party wasn’t petty—it was protective. OP didn’t make a scene, didn’t threaten anyone. She just said, “You crossed a line, and I’m not pretending like everything’s fine.” That’s powerful.
And now? Her family is actually taking notice. Some are even siding with her and refusing to attend the party if she doesn’t. That’s how you know this wasn’t just a minor miscommunication—people saw it for what it was.
6. Can This Relationship Be Repaired?
It depends. If the fiancée owned up to what she did and sincerely apologized, maybe. If the dad actually showed some empathy, maybe. But as long as they’re both gaslighting OP and calling her “dramatic,” it’s perfectly valid to keep your distance.
Especially when you’re a new parent, protecting your peace—and your child’s experiences—is way more important than keeping up appearances for a holiday.
7. How to Prevent This in the Future
This story is a warning sign for every new parent dealing with over-involved or tone-deaf family members. Here’s how to keep things from going off the rails:
- Create a “no firsts” rule – Babysitters, even family, don’t get to do baby’s firsts unless it’s been clearly okayed.
- Write out your boundaries – Whether it’s holiday plans, social media, or babysitting rules, put them in writing and share them ahead of time.
- Have a plan for holidays – Don’t be afraid to say “we’re doing our own thing this year.” You’re not required to attend every family gathering.
- Stand firm – When someone crosses a line, address it immediately. And if they brush it off? That’s their problem, not yours.
After posting the story, the mom joined the discussion in the comment section
You’re not the asshole. You’re a parent protecting your child’s experiences and your own peace. Family or not, when someone takes a moment that doesn’t belong to them—especially after being told it was important—they deserve to face consequences. You’re not ruining Christmas. They ruined the trust. And your kid’s first Christmas? That’s still your moment. Reclaim it however you want—with your own Santa photos, your own traditions, and people who actually respect you.
