Ex-Mistress Turned Wife Upset Over Absent Husband Pushing for Baby #3 — Even Her Mom’s Worried
Three years ago, a mother watched in surprise as her daughter, 27, who had never dated anyone seriously, announced she was getting married—no ceremony, no dress, just a civil signing. The groom? A 43-year-old Managing Director of a 600-person company where she had recently worked. The news came out of nowhere. Her daughter had always had sky-high standards, rejecting every man set up for her. Yet, here she was—getting married to someone 16 years older, with a past, and power dynamics that raised questions.
Now, with two kids under the age of three and another potentially on the way, the daughter is asking for help. The man she married—seen by many as a charismatic, successful provider—is barely present at home. While he plays the doting husband in public, behind closed doors, he leaves his wife to juggle everything alone. He’s strict, uptight, and known to be harsh with subordinates. The daughter admits he’s never raised his voice at her—but the emotional labor is mounting. And the request she just made to her mother is heartbreaking: Can you talk to him for me?
What’s a mother to do when her daughter is cracking under the weight of a picture-perfect marriage that’s anything but?
It’s honestly insane how cheating has become so common these days, and trust is barely present in relationships
The poster’s 27-year-old daughter never dated anyone, but one day, she suddenly married a guy who was 16 years older than her
So let’s unpack this.
Your daughter married her much older, very successful boss. It’s not a crime, but it is complicated. And now that real life has set in—diapers, toddler tantrums, sleepless nights, emotional burnout—she’s feeling the weight of a marriage built on image and imbalance.
You’re not alone in feeling torn. This situation touches on power dynamics in relationships, emotional labor in marriage, age-gap parenting struggles, and the invisible workload of stay-at-home moms—all loaded topics. Let’s break it down.
🎩 The Allure of Older, Powerful Men — And What Happens After the Honeymoon
On paper, your son-in-law is a catch. He’s tall, polished, successful, respected. The kind of man who makes people at parties say, “Wow, she did well for herself.”
But these surface-level traits often mask deeper issues. Older men in positions of power can seem “safe” and “reliable,” especially to women who’ve rejected flaky, immature peers. But when you peel back the layers, the same traits that make them attractive—confidence, dominance, status—can also make them emotionally unavailable, inflexible, and resistant to change.
He’s used to being in charge. He delegates. He expects people to meet his standards, not the other way around. And in a relationship? That can turn into emotional neglect—especially for a young wife and mother who needs support, not performance.
👶 When the Wife Becomes the Whole Village
Your daughter is now home with a baby girl and a toddler boy. She’s not just “on leave”—she’s running the house, raising two tiny humans, and trying to hold everything together while her husband… works late?
This is classic emotional labor imbalance. She isn’t just physically exhausted—she’s mentally drained. Planning daycare routines, handling nap schedules, emotional regulation, appointments, birthday parties, and still trying to look like she’s got it all together.
He shows up at events holding her hand and lets her sit on his lap—cute, right? But where is he when the baby won’t stop crying at 3 a.m.? Where is he when your grandson wants to go to the playground or just have dad build LEGOs with him?
It’s not about being physically absent—it’s about emotional presence.
😬 Public Image vs Private Reality
This part really stood out: people love him. He brags about his son’s daycare card, shows it off at work, and gets praise for being “that dad.” But he’s not there for the little things. The real things.
This is performative fatherhood. It’s when someone wants the credit for being a great dad without doing the actual work. These dads are often obsessed with how they look as fathers, not how they show up as one.
Your daughter asked you to speak to him. That speaks volumes. She’s afraid. Not of abuse, maybe—but of confrontation. Of being dismissed. Of rocking the boat with someone who thrives on control.
💔 The Elephant in the Room: She Was the Other Woman
This update hurts—but it matters. She was the other woman while he was married. They started talking after a company party. It only lasted a year, but this relationship already started in a power-imbalanced space.
It’s possible she’s carried guilt, shame, and even felt like she had to prove her worth ever since. Maybe she didn’t feel like she could ask for more—because she “took” him from someone else. That kind of emotional baggage sticks around, especially when kids enter the picture.
She may not feel like she has the right to complain now. But she does. Being a former “other woman” doesn’t mean she forfeits the right to be respected, supported, and heard in her marriage.
🗣️ So, Should You Talk to Him?
Honestly? Yes—but only if she still wants you to and only if you tread carefully.
This isn’t about scolding him or demanding more time. It’s about advocating for your daughter’s wellbeing in a way that doesn’t put her in more emotional danger.
Try this approach:
- Start with curiosity: “I’ve noticed [daughter’s name] has been really tired lately. Is everything okay at home?”
- Affirm his role: “She always speaks highly of your career and how much you provide for the family.”
- Gently shift the lens: “I think the kids really crave more of your time. They light up when they talk about you.”
- Speak from concern, not judgment: “She seems hesitant to ask for help. I wonder if she feels like she has to do it all.”
Avoid blame. Use “I” statements. Frame it as wanting what’s best for the whole family, not just your daughter.
🧠 The Bigger Picture: Breaking the Cycle
If nothing changes, your daughter may hit a breaking point. She’s already asked for help—which means she’s getting close. The key now is to remind her that she deserves more than surface-level praise. She deserves partnership, rest, and support.
Help her see that asking for more doesn’t make her weak or ungrateful. It makes her human.
And as her mother, the best gift you can give her is validation, encouragement, and, yes—sometimes even a little backup.
Netizens strongly advised the poster not to get involved with the couple, but asked her to be there for her daughter if he cheats on her
You’re doing what any loving parent would—listening, worrying, trying to help without overstepping. That’s powerful.
Your daughter isn’t just tired—she’s quietly drowning. And while she chose this life, that doesn’t mean she has to bear it alone. Maybe your voice is the one that finally helps her husband hear what she’s been too afraid to say.
