She Left Her Kids for 2 Weeks Now She’s Out of Prison and Wants Them Back
Back in 2018, a 28-year-old woman took in her sister’s three young children after a shocking act of neglect — the mother left them alone for two whole weeks while she disappeared on a drug-fueled bender. The kids were just 2 months, 2 years, and 5 years old at the time. After authorities got involved and their mother landed in prison, OP (the aunt) stepped up, legally adopted them, and gave them a new home.
Fast forward to today — the sister has been released from prison and now demands to see her kids again. But things aren’t so simple. The eldest, now 9, vividly remembers being left behind and has told his aunt flat-out that he doesn’t want to see his mom. The younger girls? They don’t even remember her. OP is torn — she wants to do what’s best for the kids, and while some family members are pushing her to “force” contact, the eldest’s therapist says it should be up to him. So… is she wrong for saying no?
Stepping up to raise a relative’s children is a heroic act, but the story is rarely that simple
A woman adopted her nieces and nephews when their mom abandoned them to go on a 2-week bender instead
Let’s not sugarcoat it — this is a tough situation. There’s a lot of emotion, trauma, and opinion flying around. Some folks say “blood is thicker than water,” others argue “you protect the kids at all costs.” But when it comes to drug addiction, parental neglect, and rebuilding trust with children, things get murky.
Here’s the thing — this isn’t just about one mother trying to reconnect with her kids. It’s about what happens after abandonment, how courts and therapists view parental reunification, and who gets to decide what’s “best” for the kids.
Let’s break it down.
1. Abandonment Leaves Scars — Especially When It’s That Severe
Leaving children — especially a baby and toddlers — alone for two weeks is more than a bad decision. It’s classified as child endangerment in nearly every jurisdiction. In fact, in most U.S. states, this would’ve triggered an immediate termination of parental rights, especially if substance abuse was involved.
And while prison time may have ended for the mother, emotional sentencing continues for the kids.
- The oldest child remembers. He was 5 years old. Old enough to know fear. Old enough to change diapers.
- He’s not “too young to understand” — he’s old enough to carry trauma.
- According to child psychologists, early trauma shapes brain development, emotional regulation, and trust. (Source: CDC ACEs Study)
So when he says, “I don’t want to see her,” he’s not just being moody. He’s protecting himself. His therapist agrees.
2. Reunification Isn’t a Right — It’s Earned
It’s a common misunderstanding that once someone gets out of prison, they can just “pick up where they left off” with their kids. That’s simply not true.
Here’s what the law says:
- In cases where parental rights have been terminated or transferred through adoption, the biological parent no longer has legal claim to the children.
- Even when rights remain intact, supervised visitation or therapy-led reunification is the norm — not instant full access.
In your case, OP — you’ve legally adopted the children. You are, in every way that matters, their parent now.
The fact that your sister believes she can simply walk back in and demand custody shows a complete lack of understanding of her responsibilities — and the emotional impact she’s left behind.
3. “The Little Ones Don’t Remember Her” — And That’s Okay
One of the most heartbreaking parts of your post is the guilt some family members are throwing your way — that it’s “your fault” the little girls don’t remember their mother. Let’s be real here:
- She wasn’t there. They were 2 and 3 months old. You can’t remember someone who wasn’t around.
- Even if you had taken them to visit her in prison, it’s unlikely they’d form a healthy bond in that setting.
- And more importantly — they bonded with you. You raised them. You rocked them to sleep. You were their “mum.”
Family isn’t biology. It’s presence. And they know you. That’s what matters.
4. “You’re Keeping the Kids From Their Mom” — But Are You?
This one’s tricky. The accusation flying at you is that you’re “keeping them from their mom.” But let’s reframe that:
- She is the one who broke the trust.
- You stepped in when no one else would.
- You’ve been protecting them ever since.
Now, if down the line, the children — especially the oldest — want to rebuild that relationship, that’s a conversation to have. But right now? Forcing them into reunification would likely do more harm than good.
And just because someone shares DNA doesn’t give them the right to emotional access.
5. Let the Kids Lead — Especially When Therapists Agree
You’ve already done the most responsible thing — you consulted the child’s therapist. That alone shows how seriously you take this. And when a licensed professional says “Let the child decide,” that’s a huge deal.
Therapists are trained to spot trauma triggers. Forcing contact with someone who caused fear, abandonment, and instability could set the healing process back years.
Trust the process. Trust the professionals. And yes — trust your gut.
6. So… Are You the A-Hole?
Let’s make this simple: No. You’re not the a-hole.
You’re the anchor these kids have needed for seven years. You’re the one they call when they’re scared. You’re the one they go to with questions. You’ve earned their love and their trust.
And while forgiveness and reunification can sometimes be part of healing, timing matters. Consent matters. The kids matter more than your sister’s feelings.
You’re not punishing her. You’re protecting them.
The internet rallied behind the selfless sister and applauded her for stepping up to rescue the children
This isn’t a black-and-white situation. But what matters most is this: you’re choosing the kids. Every time. That makes you a damn good parent.
If your sister wants to earn back trust, it starts with patience. Therapy. Time. And understanding that relationships — especially with kids — aren’t given. They’re built.
And if family keeps pressuring you? Let them know you’re following expert advice. That this isn’t about bitterness or punishment — it’s about safety and healing.
You’re doing the right thing. And even if it doesn’t feel like it today… one day, those kids will know it too.
