He Didn’t Change a Single Nappy in 6 Hours I’m Fuming and So is My Baby
Imagine finally getting a break — your first real time away since having a baby — and returning home to your little one crying, sore, and clearly uncomfortable. That’s exactly what happened to this mum after leaving her 9-month-old son with her partner for the afternoon. She made sure everything was prepped: nappies, wipes, food, clean clothes. Yet, when she came home after six hours, her baby had a full, stinking nappy and a bright red rash on his bottom.
When she asked her partner when he’d last changed the baby, he shrugged and said he “didn’t think he needed one.” Seriously? Not even one change in six hours? He also ignored the meals she prepped and gave their son a banana and crisps instead because he “didn’t want to make a mess.” Understandably, she’s furious — and feeling let down. She’s now questioning whether she can even trust him to handle solo parenting.
Changing diapers isn’t actually the nicest thing ever, but anyway, it’s a vitally needed skill for any new parent
The author of the post has a 9-month-old baby son, and recently she went out alone for the first time, leaving the baby with the dad
Alright, let’s talk about it. Because this story hit a nerve with a lot of people. And not just because one dad forgot to change a nappy — but because it taps into a much bigger issue: the weaponized incompetence of some dads, emotional labor, gender inequality in parenting, and yes — baby care basics.
So here’s the breakdown, from a very real and non-perfectly-worded human place. No lectures. No judging. Just honest, slightly ranty reality.
1. It’s Not “Just One Nappy” — It’s the Mental Load
Let’s start here. When someone says “it’s just one nappy,” they’re missing the whole point. It’s not about the nappy. It’s about the fact that you had to think of everything — prep the food, the wipes, the clothes, the timings — and still, the bare minimum wasn’t done.
That’s called the mental load. It’s the invisible work that often falls on mums — the stuff no one sees. Planning, remembering, prepping, checking, worrying. Dads should be able to handle a few hours solo without acting like it’s rocket science. And it’s not about being hormonal — it’s about being fair.
2. Weaponized Incompetence Is Real (And Exhausting)
There’s a term that’s been floating around lately — weaponized incompetence — and it fits this situation a bit too well. It’s when someone pretends they “don’t know how” or are “just not good at” something so they don’t have to do it again. Like:
“I didn’t change him because I didn’t want to wake him up.”
“I didn’t feed him the food because it would be messy.”
These aren’t genuine mistakes. They’re excuses to avoid the work. And guess what? If a mum said, “Oh, I didn’t change him because he was napping,” she’d get roasted online. But when a dad does it, it’s somehow forgivable?
Dads aren’t babysitters. They’re not doing favours. They’re parents. And it’s okay to expect them to act like it.
3. Rash, Discomfort, and Hygiene — It’s a Health Issue
Leaving a baby in a soiled nappy for hours isn’t just lazy. It’s uncomfortable and potentially harmful for the baby.
- Babies have sensitive skin.
- Sitting in urine or poop for long can lead to nappy rash, irritation, or even infection.
- A red, sore bum means your baby was in pain — and couldn’t tell anyone except through tears.
If a childcare provider did that? You’d be furious. So why should it be okay at home?
4. Food Isn’t Optional — Nutrition Matters Even in Short Windows
Let’s not skip past this gem: he gave the baby a banana and crisps instead of the proper food that was already prepped.
Let’s be clear: this isn’t just a messy vs. clean thing. It’s about actual nutrition. Babies at 9 months need:
- Proper meals for growth and development
- A mix of iron-rich foods, fruits, veg, proteins
- Regular feeding to support their digestive system
Crisps and a banana aren’t going to cut it. Refusing to feed him properly because of “mess”? That’s selfish. Parenting is messy. That’s part of the job.
5. Trust Is Hard to Rebuild — Especially After This
What happened here might seem small — a skipped nappy change, lazy meal — but trust me, it hits deep. Because now, as a mum, you’re asking:
“Can I even leave him with my own partner for a few hours?”
That’s not just frustrating. That’s heartbreaking. You deserve time to rest and not worry if your child will be uncomfortable or uncared for when you get back.
And don’t even get started on how society would crucify a mum for the same mistake. “Neglectful” would be the kindest word used.
6. What Happens Next — and Why You Shouldn’t Let This Slide
So what now? Do you brush it off, or have a real conversation?
This is where it gets tricky. Some partners genuinely don’t realise how low the bar is they’ve set. Some need to hear it plainly:
- Changing a nappy isn’t optional.
- Feeding your child properly isn’t “extra.”
- Being clueless is not cute, it’s dangerous.
- You’re not being “naggy” or “dramatic.” You’re being a parent. And you’re protecting your child.
If you let it slide, the message becomes: it’s okay to do the bare minimum. So even if it’s uncomfortable, it’s worth sitting down and talking this through. And if that feels too emotional, write it out first.
7. You Deserve a Break — And a Partner You Can Trust
Mums need time to themselves. That’s not up for debate. Whether it’s 30 minutes at the store or a whole afternoon out — you deserve it. And you shouldn’t come home feeling guilty, angry, or like your child’s suffered because you took a break.
This isn’t about being perfect. No one’s asking dads to be superhuman. But basic care? That’s non-negotiable.
Netizens mostly gave the woman their sincere support and also criticized her spouse heavily
So no — you’re not overreacting. And it’s not “just one nappy.” It’s the million tiny decisions that add up to how we parent. You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to expect more. And you’re allowed to not apologise for that.
And to the partners who don’t get it yet: step up. Your baby deserves it. Your partner deserves it. You can’t skip the hard parts and still claim the title of “dad.”
